About Me

This page is a little bit more about me. Who's behind the xxx that you're reading about.

 Hi. Thanks so much for coming to my "About Me" page. I am a 41 year old woman who has struggled with an eating disorder almost most of my whole life. I certainly have struggled with body images since I was a little girl. Symptom use came in my later years.

I am married to a man who is very supportive of me in many ways of my many issues and has proved over and over to me that he IS there for me. I'm the mommy of a 5 yr old kindergartner and a 22 yr old actor. I love my kids and am blessed with their lives. I think I still kind of am in awe of them and that they are mine. I definetly do not take for granted that I have these 2 beautiful kids in my life. Nor do I take my husband for granted. I wanted him very much in my life. I do have the life that I wanted. Life is good except for the mental illness factor which gets in the way.

I've been in recovery (going to outpatients/inpatients/groups/support groups) since about 1997 and live the life of recovery for the most part. I have many slips and continue to take giant strides forward as well as backwards. I love the recovery lifestyle although I certainly am not perfect at living it. But it is what it is and I take what I can and leave the rest. Taking babysteps and putting one foot in front of the other and doing the next right thing seems to work for me.

Although life seems like such a struggle, it is also good...I like being in my 40's. I think the best is yet to come. I'm CHOOSING to have a positive outlook on life and am working on getting it that way by working on myself. This blog is one of the ways I am doing that. Here is the first letter(s) I wrote to myself when I started my blog. Hope you join me on my journey...

Dear Body,

It's time for some radical recovery. This eating disorder just isn't a option any longer. I am going to write letters to you until I change and I learn to love you. I'm going to give this my all and write my body letters so I can learn to love it and also vice versa. The first letter I had written was pretty powerful for me in treatment. The effects lasted quiet awhile. Up until now I haven't wanted to work that hard again. It takes a lot out of you to be nice to yourself. I am ready to put an end to my eating disorder once and for all and MOVE ON. I like the term radical recovery because that's what is needed for me to finally do this. I really want to love myself and love my body. I am ready to end my struggle and live in peace and happiness and acceptance.       Love, XXX