February 3, 2011
Dear Body,
Things are good right now. I’ve been playing catch up with some ED friends on where I am in my own recovery. By doing so, I found that I’m surprisingly in a better spot than I thought I was. I stated that “I now have more in front of me to work on, than behind me to work on and that feels awesome”. I LOVE that statement. I even used it on my facebook status! I’ve finally reached the tipping point on the scales in recovery with after all these years and after all this hard work where I’m not working on my past any longer but working on the present things like my family and bettering my relationship with them and raising my daughter the best I know how and things such as self care and self love. Things from my past have been discovered, talked about, cried over, tossed around, argued with, healed from and moved on from. It is an amazing spot to be in. Ironically, as I’ve said many times previously, I’m the happiest I’ve been, yet the heaviest weight I’ve ever been. Yes, I would still like that to change, but it does show me that being the thinnest in my life doesn’t make me the happiest I’ve ever been. That’s taken me years and years to believe.
I feel like this was the lesson in this for me. Point well taken. I finally believe it. Whew…got it.
Love, XXX
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