Friday, December 17, 2010

Dear Body

12.15.10

Dear Body,
Jesus…I don’t even know what to say, I’m so disassociated with you that I managed to gain xx lbs without batting an eyelash. WTF? Only in my pregnancy have I weighed this much. I am officially fat. For real. I’ve been in a deep depression for 1 ½ months now. I am the only person I swear that gains in depression. I wish I lost like most. I don’t. I am never normal. Jeeze.
The actual reason that has gotten me to write finally is not because of you my dear body, nor me (still separating us!) or ED. It’s my daughter. There has been 2 weight related things that have happened in the last few days with her that have been bothersome. Things that I don’t believe a 5 yr old should be exposed to yet.
The first one; Yesterday morning, I walked my kindergarten daughter down the hallway in the morning and we walked past her gym teacher and my daughter says to me, “She’s lost weight.” I said, “WHAT?” She said, “she’s thinner.” I asked her, “Did she say that to you or did someone else tell you that?” and she said, “I noticed”. WTF?
The second one; This morning, she was playing with a dollie and said, “she is thin because she is eating good food” and it took all of my ED recovering strength to not want to scream out “THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “GOOD” FOOD or “BAD” FOOD".
I am also going to make my first political statement that I have ever made. But this Obama obesity thing is going in the wrong fucking direction. First of all, she (the doll) is NOT thin because she is eating “good” food” Second of all there is NO such thing as “good” food or “bad” food.
God dang….is this what she’s being taught in school? Am I making this into a big deal? I’m going to talk to her about this. I shouldn’t assume. But she’s 5….she’s being guided somehow cuz she can’t comprehend this herself can she yet? Fuck, maybe she just has my genes. I’m paranoid now.
Love, XXX

1 comment:

  1. I've got news for you - this is definitely what she is being taught in school. It is all part of Michelle Obama's Healthy Initiative, and now we have five-year-olds scared to eat a cookie and seven-year-olds developing anorexia. I can guarantee you she is hearing all about good vs. bad foods all the time. Has her school banned bake sales yet? Because many of the school districts in the state I live in (Michigan) have. Most of the schools also only allow diet soda and water in the machines (Nutrasweet - that's really healthy) and some of the schools are actually checking the kids' lunches to make sure no stray cookie or cupcake makes it inside.

    Trust me - this is only the beginning. Sorry for the long post. I used to be the school reporter for our small town paper and saw all the changes take place. You would be amazed - or maybe not - at what children are now being taught about food.

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