Thursday, January 7, 2010

Dear ED

I just found this letter to ED (the only one I’ve written in all these years of recovery) that I wrote a few years back in my journal. I think this was right after my daughter was born…. I’m going to read it and then keep ED out of the picture during this little journey that I’m embarking on. This is between me and my body and ED is NOT invited! He’ll just fuck things up if he’s involved. Here is the letter.

Dear ED,

You really are not my favorite at this moment. I don’t like what you do to me. I do not like the way I think or act when you are around. You are very manipulative and cause far too much confusion when you are around me. You make me misjudge myself and my body. You try to get me on your side and basically I’m tired of you. You’ve worn out your welcome. I am a different person now and do not want you here to mess things up for myself or my family. I need to show my daughter how to live and grow and you are not allowed anywhere near her. That means you need to go and leave me alone. I don’t want you back. I’ve grown into someone that doesn’t need you.

{don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out!!!}

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